I miss being in shape

Gone are the days where I can just get up and run from a to b and not even break a sweat...Hell now I can't even use the remote control without gettin' tired...fuck [followed by a disappointed head movement]

I miss you in shape body, why did you go the way of the Do Do...?

I recently discovered that my ex has done emotional damage and it’s been very hard to overcome. I was with this girl for two and a half of the least remembered years of my life. You see I was in three major motorcycle crashes and sustained multiple head injuries as a result. Although I didn’t remember a lot of the relationship, I apparently remembered enough of it to remember all the things she put me through. She was a very high maintenance person who never seemed to be satisfied with anything anyone ever did for her. One of the problems with that is the fact that I’m a people pleaser, especially with the person I’m with. So I would give up a lot of my happiness just to try to make her smile and all I got in return was an argument about how it wasn’t perfect. Another major problem with it was the fact that I was told (by her) about how there were all these amazing guys that she wanted to be with. For example, we went out to dinner one night and before our food showed up she decided that it would be a great idea to tell me about this guy that she met, (who was from a long ways away) and how the plan was for them to go to the same college and after a few years move in with one another and live happily ever after. And I think it was completely reasonable to get upset about her telling me about this guy. And out know what I got out of it…that’s right, and argument, she got mad at me and threatened to break up with me. Looking back on it all I should have taken her up on her offer.

 

So here I am in the present, with the single most amazing person I’ve ever had the privilege to meet and I can’t get my past out of my head. It runs through my head all the time about her wanting something more because that’s what I had before. When in all reality she is everything I ever could have asked for and so much more. She understands about my past and its affects on me and she’s been nothing but perfect.

 

So here’s to her, the girl that’s saving a boy…

 

Thanks you,

Here I lie,
shipwrecked on the island of life.

Castaway from all that I once knew.

Secluded on my emotional island,
laying on a pile of thoughts and dreams.